No one's probably going to read this, but those who will, hi.

I'm going to update a lot more this year, especially since it's summer, and especially since this was the year I decided to go to an art school. I've been complimented many times in my life, not only by fellow peers, but by teachers and my mom (who was an art major) and also my cousin who one various awards for his work. Art is something I enjoy, whether it's cartoonish stuff or just sketching out a person's face. It's a passion and although it may not be a high paying profession, it is a skill I excel in (I hope) and something I can see myself doing for years on end.

I want to be an illustrator, perhaps an animator (though unlikely). I'm an illustrator for my school's newspaper, won an award in a competition (honorary mention, it's good enough!), got Illustrator of the Year (in my school, SHUSH), and I'm continuously developing my style and my knowledge of various mediums. I can paint now, though still at that amateur state, and I finally know how to use charcoal (it's like a pencil that's hard to erase). I love pens and pencils like I would my own child (exaggerating, but who cares), and although working with digital media scares me, I'm experimenting and seeing new things (SAI is like traditional so it's really helpful).

This journal isn't about bragging about me, but relaying my progress over the years. I rarely update this account, so no one has seen my progress but me. But now I need to stop hiding in the corner, get over the tedious work of scanning, and upload and hope for some artistic criticism.

Berating myself, saying that I probably can't do that, won't help me. I gotta look at a piece of artwork, admire it, and tell myself that I can get to that level with more learning and more practice. Unlike a lot of young artists, I've almost never taken art lessons (the exception of school and currently taking an art class in the local community college, Oakton CC if you're curious), and I don't consider myself to be a studio artist (a girl at my school won this big award for this AMAZING painting she did. okay, I'll probably never be able to do that, but it was seriously amazing). I like drawing cartoons. Anime/manga style specifically (though if I need to, I will change that style to something similar yet different). My dream is to create a comic book series that people will read and buy, and I want to search my series title and find fangirls/boys talking, discussing, creating fanarts.

But I don't know what the future will hold. I'm just 17 with a knack of overtalking (er, typing) and I haven't even applied to any college yet. I live near Chicago, so I'm considering the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. They already sent a letter seeing if I'd like for info (I take that as a sign of interest, it's probably not but whatever).

I've learned over the years that the only way to improve is to draw as much as I breath. Which I've done. I've gone through piles of paper sketching, thinking, now moving to sketch books (because...I feel bad for the trees). I've joined an online art community artslam in livejournal, so now it gives me an excuse to develop a story, a character, to draw at least one image per day.

And then I have this. When I joined, I dreamed of becoming famous. But since I felt disheartened by so many AMAZING artists, and that no one really looked at me, I stopped. I tried again, but it didn't really get anything (actually, a recent sketch got quite a bit attention but it's fanart, not me). There are a lot of artists on this site like that, I'm sure, and I've seen their work and just wonder WHY THE HELL ISN'T ANYONE WATCHING THIS GUY/GIRL!?

I've come to the point where sparkly fanarts just don't do much for me anymore. I look at anatomy, colors, creative compositions, and a unique style. I try to see if the artists tries to challenge him or herself, or if it's just the same thing over and over again.

I've grown up a lot, but I'm still the same in that I get jealous easily. I try to push that aside by thinking, NO THIS PERSON IS AMAZING STOP BEING STUPID. (i mean seriously, kid-chan, endling, kaze-hime, so many more that I can't think of right now but I have them faved in my bookmarks, seen their works?)

I have no idea where this is going. I'm the type you rambles whatever pops into mind (not in person, my mind kinda dies).

I stopped drawing fanart a long time ago, because now I need to stop being dependent on other people's works and develop my own stuff. Time to fly girl...fly...

Sorry for that horribly cheesy moment. I don't know what came over me.

Hmm....it's kinda late to be thinking.

Oh crap, shower...

Uh...okay, I lost track. I'm pretty much writing what I'm thinking now. Well, I am gonna update more, I already have a few pictures ready. They're not that refined, as I'm still testing and seeing what I like.

People, go out there and draw, comment, fav, watch, look for something new.

YAY, this is long. Can it go longer? I wonder---SHELLY DE KILLER GASPS (points for knowing where I'm getting at) NO, DON'T AAAHHH---